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Assalamu Alaikum,

I truly need a mental clean-up/unload right now. I cannot fall asleep, although I am tired, because of all these random thoughts soaring around in my head. J fell asleep; I'm glad, because he hasn't slept well in weeks.

Last week, J and I took Omar and Nora to go buy a board game. A 5-minute task turned into a pretty amusing 2-hour escapade. We ate at McDonald's, fought over which game to buy, then all agreed, then bought lotsss of candy. In the end, we decided on Risk; Omar and J's choice. They reassured me that it was a whole lot of fun, but I was skeptical for quite some time....Until I played. It was awesome. Me, J, Nora, Omar, and both my in-laws played..and played..and played. Suddenly it was like 1 am, and everyone went to bed. The next night, Friday, we arrived early to "finish." Let's just say the game's still going.

The weekend was an entertaining one also. Saturday, we had dinner with the Baigs', after which we once again engaged in a game of Risk. This one went till about 3:30am, and in the end, after battling it out with me, J won. Sunday, we had an awesome dinner of Koosa Mahshii at the in-laws. Too bad everyone was in a bad mood because of an earlier phone call my mom-in-law had received. After a few hours of talking about random things, we decided to go see "Over the Hedge." Me, J, Omar, and Nora went in the end, and the movie was absolutely adorable.

Monday Night Nora spent the night; we stayed up talking for a while.
Tuesday, Tayyab came over in the morning, and both of them played all day. I cleaned. Then, I decided to attempt a gourmet entree. And, Lo and Behold, it actually turned out REALLLLY good. I made something called "Pesto Shrimp and Pasta with Sweet 100s". Odd name, aye? Surprisingly, it was very scrumptious and appealing. Then, in the evening Omar came over, and all of us just chilled until about 2am. (another reason J realllly needs sleep right now).

Last night, we babysat for the Baigs' while they went out to eat. The babies were already asleep so it was fun; we just talked and chilled. They came home, and we watched House, and then Bapee and OB arrived. We ended up staying until 1:30. (babysleepy).

I'm sooo extremely glad that tomorrow marks the start of the weekend. We have a weekend full of stuff to do, and I'm hoping all goes well, in sha'Allah. Sunday's the big dinner party, and I really hope it goes good, since my guests are quite important, and I love em all a lot.

Anyways, this week has been interesting, to say the least. Alhamdulillah, the huge problem, which was definitely taking its toll on J and me, is finally resolved. W'Allahu 3'lam why it had to take so long. Even as it exited our minds, it left its mark; J has 4 new white hairs because of it. The poor baby. Of course, this situation, like many situations of its type, proved to be quite enlightening. I've learned many things about friendship, marriage, and just the human race, in general.

I've rambled on for a while, yet I haven't even approached the topic that is the main cause of bother and dismay. I really don't know what to think anymore, I just thank Allah (SWT) day and night for giving me J; because I know, that no matter what happens, he'd never betray me, leave me, talk about me, go against me, or deceive me. Alhamdulillah.

Its also interesting how people assume the worst and believe everything that comes their way; even when they know deep down inside that its not true. I've learned that sometimes the truth, and life itself are very bitter; but you just have to accept the way things turn out. Because, everything happens for a reason. I guess, in some circumstances, these bitter truths are just masked by more appealing charactersitics, and therefore, mislead you, and at the same time, become more difficult to accept. I saw this one coming for a while now, I just kept postponing the "ultimate showdown" and waited, most likely to avoid pain. And now, its all over. To make the best of an extremely sour situation: at least I won't be hurt (and forgotten) repeatedly and endlessly. A few random speculations of mine, I guess.

Well, I hope I can finally fall asleep, in sha'Allah, since I've managed to clear my head some. Until next time, Peace out.

These few lines keep repeating in my head:

"These wounds won't seem to heal, This pain is just too real, There's just too much that time cannot erase."

Walaikum Assalam.
Amna