siiiigh

Assalamu Alaikum,

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I am so burnt out. J's so sad, he hardly laughs anymore. All because of someone and someone else. I'm so fed up with these people.

Well, this weekend was interesting. Friday was Family Night. I was the only girl there. The others went to a party instead. Some "shura" we have. I set up half the cafeteria on my own, and then Naj came and helped me out. Do I not have a right to be angry/annoyed?? Then, Saturday, Build A Masjid. At least a few people showed up KINDA on time. At first, J, me, and Nora chilled and brought in all the supplies that had been inhabiting my car for quite some time. Then a few people began to arrive. We set-up and Build a Masjid was underway. It went pretty well, Alhamdulillah. I was proud of myself (and J and his bro who both helped a lot.) Then, after the event, more cause for anger. Here I am, cleaning the bathroom, ALL ALONE, someone walks in, says "since you don't need help I'm gonna leave. c you at the party!!" I have never been so angry in my life. Well, actually I have...the very next day.

Anyhow, I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick right now. I threw up all over the comforter yesterday, I just couldn't stop it. I was getting up to go clean up in the bathroom, when more puke came.

I feel like taking J and going away, somewhere far away, where he will no longer be sad, depressed, and quiet. I want my old baby back. The one that sang me songs, talked to me about everything, joked about everything, etc. Some days are still ok, and then like an old memory that blows in with the wind, its all over. Back to the sadness.

Well, I'm hoping, in sha'Allah, the next time I write will be a much happier post. Maybe about a gobitt. :)

Wasalaam. peace.
amna